Father knows best

Here's a few things I've learned in my 6 weeks of fatherhood:

1) Nothing is as frustrating as dressing your son up for a night on the town (e.g. 6pm-7:15pm) just to have him poop his pants mere seconds after finishing the last button on the three-layered Winnie-the-Pooh outfit. The best analogy I can give is when you get ready for work, take a shower, get dressed, put on your suit, shoes, and belt, and as you are tightening the knot on your tie....you poop your pants.

2) You think you can do things one-handed, but you can't - don't fool yourself men, you can't eat dinner while holding the baby in your lap, change the TV channel while feeding him, or try and get his bottle ready while he cries in your arms. You'll end up with a baby who is covered in dinner scraps, full of gas, and who is really upset. Not that I have done any of these things, I'm just saying...

3) Projectile vomit/poop is not as funny as you thought it was. Peeing in the air however lives up to the hype.

4) Farting is now cute and funny. Take advantage of this.

5) The DVR is now your common-law relative. You might be thinking, there's lots on TV at 4am, right? Wrong.

6) Truck accessories now include a car seat, baby mirror, and emergency diaper kit. If the truck breaks down I am in a pinch, but if the baby has a blow-out we're all good.

7) Every three hours he needs to be fed and changed, much like me.